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Nimalf- Posts : 4
Join date : 2020-07-06
The Never Ending Cheeseburger Platter
Thu Jul 23, 2020 11:47 pm
This will be the review of The Never Ending Cheeseburger Platter from the infamous Spoody's Kitchen.
Greetings fellow weebs, incels and hentai-enthusiasts. After the pizza, I ended up going for a spontaneous drive as J and K visited. Mum packed me a cheese and pickle roll, but I couldn't eat it due to the bag on my head. Maybe it was because of COVID. Maybe it was role-play. Maybe it was Maybelline.
My laptop was confiscated, and I'm experiencing withdrawals so I'm typing this out on my Nintendo DS Lite. I hope they don't find it or I'll have to take further measure's like communicating through the fridge.
It came to the time of night where my stomach was screaming for anything other than Mountain Dew and Cheetos; briefly, the image of "The Never Ending Cheesburger Platter" on the menu flashed through my mind, accompanied with the £500,000 price tag. I pondered, how literal was 'Never Ending'?
Maybe one day I'll find ou- Suddenly, just like the time I unplugged my Gran's life support to charge my Nokia 3310, everything went black. In the gloom, a slight shuffling noise is just audible. I want to run, but I haven't ran since the beep test in year 5 PE. The noise continues, gentle shuffling and finally a thunk. I smell... beef?
The lights and electrics resume, burning my retinas out like when I saw The Rise of Skywalker. There, on the faded green stain left by the last order, a large, distorted Styrofoam container resides. The classic red wax crayon covering the lid, clashing violently with the porous yellow plastic. Dinner time it is.
The box barely contains the mass of bun, cheese, beef patty and condiments within; it doesn't move, and it doesn't have a threatening aura. What has Spoody delivered me this time?
I lift the hefty buns up and take a big bite, overpowering my senses, the burger seems to be consuming me. The grass-fed A5 Kobe beef patty almost melting, smoked Gouda smothering the crisp lettuce and crimson tomatoes, surrounded by golden fries; this is the stuff of dreams. I notice the bite mark was slowly disappearing, filling itself in. Then, it seemed to swell to double its size, like a white knights ego when defending Belle Delphine. Did my eyes just deceive me? I decide another bite won't hurt; and sure enough the burger again completes itself continuing to double in size a second time. Maybe I should be leaving this review on the SCP Foundation forum. Reminiscent of SCP - 871, I place the mildly imposing burger on a plate in my mini fridge, the world unaware of the quiet danger next to a couple cans of Dr Pepper.
Would I sacrifice the world for this burger? Probably.
Is being smothered in burger a good way to go? Definitely.
Rating:
Greetings fellow weebs, incels and hentai-enthusiasts. After the pizza, I ended up going for a spontaneous drive as J and K visited. Mum packed me a cheese and pickle roll, but I couldn't eat it due to the bag on my head. Maybe it was because of COVID. Maybe it was role-play. Maybe it was Maybelline.
My laptop was confiscated, and I'm experiencing withdrawals so I'm typing this out on my Nintendo DS Lite. I hope they don't find it or I'll have to take further measure's like communicating through the fridge.
It came to the time of night where my stomach was screaming for anything other than Mountain Dew and Cheetos; briefly, the image of "The Never Ending Cheesburger Platter" on the menu flashed through my mind, accompanied with the £500,000 price tag. I pondered, how literal was 'Never Ending'?
Maybe one day I'll find ou- Suddenly, just like the time I unplugged my Gran's life support to charge my Nokia 3310, everything went black. In the gloom, a slight shuffling noise is just audible. I want to run, but I haven't ran since the beep test in year 5 PE. The noise continues, gentle shuffling and finally a thunk. I smell... beef?
The lights and electrics resume, burning my retinas out like when I saw The Rise of Skywalker. There, on the faded green stain left by the last order, a large, distorted Styrofoam container resides. The classic red wax crayon covering the lid, clashing violently with the porous yellow plastic. Dinner time it is.
The box barely contains the mass of bun, cheese, beef patty and condiments within; it doesn't move, and it doesn't have a threatening aura. What has Spoody delivered me this time?
I lift the hefty buns up and take a big bite, overpowering my senses, the burger seems to be consuming me. The grass-fed A5 Kobe beef patty almost melting, smoked Gouda smothering the crisp lettuce and crimson tomatoes, surrounded by golden fries; this is the stuff of dreams. I notice the bite mark was slowly disappearing, filling itself in. Then, it seemed to swell to double its size, like a white knights ego when defending Belle Delphine. Did my eyes just deceive me? I decide another bite won't hurt; and sure enough the burger again completes itself continuing to double in size a second time. Maybe I should be leaving this review on the SCP Foundation forum. Reminiscent of SCP - 871, I place the mildly imposing burger on a plate in my mini fridge, the world unaware of the quiet danger next to a couple cans of Dr Pepper.
Would I sacrifice the world for this burger? Probably.
Is being smothered in burger a good way to go? Definitely.
Rating:
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